A Girl Like Kirsha

Click here to hear the song

I wish I had a girl like you
Who looks and talks and smells like you
I know one girl would have to do
But I wish I had two girls like you

I wish I had two girls like you
A little greedy, I know that’s true
My smile would stretch to Timbuctoo
If I had three girls like you

I wish I had three girls like you
I know that’s too many girls to screw
Six holes counting the ones that poo
Or eight, if I had four girls like you

I wish that I had four girls like you
I could take them two by two
Another one could join the queue
Then I’d have five girls like you

I wish that I had five girls like you
Five girls like you would have to do
So many holes to go through
That’s five not including you

Five girls I know is quite a lot
Lots of arse and lots of twat
I should be a bit more careful what
I can do and I cannot

I don’t think I could handle four
Horny honeys wanting more
After three I might get bored
There’d still be one that I ignored

Even three would wear me thin
All those holes to go out and in
I’d spend my time just pondering
Who would notify my next of kin

When naughty ladies come in pairs
It’s just like playing music chairs
I’m old enough that I don’t care
Who does what and what goes where

Embarrassingly, for a man like me
Six or five or four or three
Or two is just too many
I just want one and not any one
Just you
Or I don’t want any

© MONA, 2012
Lyrics by David Walsh
Arranged and Performed by Raz


12 thoughts on “A Girl Like Kirsha

  1. Extremely Delightful a little smutty Thats ok im slightly nutty , A love song Is love song no matter what the words say,It must of made sweet Kirsha’s Day……….
    and Birthed a smile in me .

  2. I wish I had six of you.
    Just six of you would really do.
    So much art and too much fun.
    wouldnt know just when i was done.
    No six of you just wouldn’t do.
    Too much MONAs for just a few.
    Just stay as you are
    A poetic star!

  3. Dear Mr Biscuits! Let’s say, for the sake of argument, you think this poem is technically and formally impressive: its metre, rhythm and rhyme. Do you think the poem is still reprehensible, because its theme is sexual depravity? This is a genuine question. Should poetry only deal with the loftier elements of our nature?

    On another note: Dan Savage (www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove) argues that women in monogamous relationships must either accept polygamy/cheating/mistresses, or put out more. He says open discussion about male sexuality – in all its uncomfortable reality – is the pathway to happier long-term relationships. In this sense, David’s poem reflects a certain sexual health. Ew. Not in a herpes way.

    – Elizabeth

    • If the poem were ‘technically and formally impressive’ I would not have sent my original comment. I do not disapprove of the subject matter.

      On your other note – if Savage can successfully sell this concept to Mrs Biscuits then I am happy to run with it.

      Biscuits, D

      • There’s no way I would agree to it! I’m merely suggesting that it’s better to acknowledge sexuality in all forms – male, female, deviant or otherwise – in order to better channel it to successful relationships. (See this pretty confronting article by Savage on the ‘gold-star pedophile’, for instance – http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=12927907).

        But this may be making too much of David’s poem. I like it; if you don’t, fair enough.

  4. That’s hilarious! And so true. The fantasy is attractive – the reality is daunting.Con sume your share and conserve your heart.

  5. thanks for the article link elizabethmead. good food for thought. particularly as to how far this whole kettle of fish strays into the realms of thoughtcrime.

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